Recently, I have been giving myself some more "time off." By that I mean I haven't made a quiche from scratch in three weeks and I've only been vaccuuming once a week. I was partly inspired by other moms, especially moms of older children who help me to realize the futility of it all. I'll go out kicking and screaming on the issue of maintaining a tidy house. After all, my mom was able to do it! Then again, she did not have to clean up after two dogs.
As always, it's all about finding a balance. I've been spending more time just playing and cuddling with my daughter and gradually working back in getting things done but trying to keep the stress level as it is just playing.
My daughter has been learning to sit and she is on her way to mastering it. The whole thing happened within the blink of an eye. Just this week she's gone from being able to sit for a few minutes to being able to sit twenty minutes or longer. Last night I plopped her down amongst a mat and some pillows to see how long she would be content. With a rattle, Lifefactory teething ring, Sophie, and Ocean Wonders activity mirror, she had plenty to keep her company. I was able to vaccuum the house and lint roll the rugs (I know, but I didn't want to put them through the washer) while she sat and played. Unbelievable. You see, if I posted something like that to my Facebook I would be ignored, but for my baby and me, it's a big milestone. My baby is on the road to independence.
Now, if I were to modify this momentous occasion into a Facebook status I would have to make it more interesting. Nobody really cares that my baby sat while I vaccuumed, except her father and my mom. So I would have to say something like:
My daughter sat while I vaccuumed the whole house today. Ironic that my 3-year-old, 50-pound dog is scared of the vaccuum cleaner but my 5-month-old, 17-pound daughter is not.Still I might not get any laughs from the peanut gallery on that one.
Last night was major for me, too, in that I was able to wash, dry, and fold clothes all in one day. Our clean clothes usually hang out on the oversized armchair in the living room for at least 24 hours before I even sort them into piles of folded, hanging, closet, baby, and towels. Last week I washed diapers, too, before I folded anything else. It is a huge chair. To top off all the depressed feelings of laundry to be done hanging over my head, I usually fold them on the second day after washing them. The second day falls on a Sunday when my boyfriend is home from work, lounging on the couch with the baby and watching ESPN. I can't complain, I do this to myself. Thankfully I will have avoided being stuck listening to Sports Center this weekend.
Also this week my daughter's sleep schedule has changed. She is waking up earlier in the morning, which makes me have to wake up at 7 am. I debated making some changes to make her sleep in later, but what kind of lazy, ungrateful mother would that make me? She already sleeps through the night besides rousing to nurse once and even then I am fortunate enough to pop a boob into her mouth and fall back asleep. So this morning when she woke up and started kicking me in the back it wasn't too long before I decided to get up and go with it. No excuses now. Izumi sat and played while I went through a 30-minute postnatal yoga DVD.
I didn't realize just how much the body is out of whack after pregnancy. Pregnancy and birth are perfectly natural, perfectly healthy things but after 14 months of dedicating my body to everyone but myself, I wasn't even able to bend over and touch my fingertips to the ground! Fortunately, yoga instructors know this and significant release was done on my legs in the sequence. By the end of the 30 minutes I was able to touch the ground.
After running 17 miles, my boyfriend cooked yaki udon for lunch. Then I got some precious time alone... at the grocery store. I was planning on spending the day out since I had been cooped up from the snow, taking along my adorable baby whom I had already dressed to the nines. I was hoping some friends would come over so I listened to the suggestion that I should leave the baby with my boyfriend and do my shopping real quick. I pumped a couple of ounces of milk, switched my stuff over from the diaper bag to my purse, and was on my way. Freedom! Freedom to listen to my music as loud as I wanted so I turned on the radio. As the unmistakable techno first notes of the song started to play, I checked out my other favorite stations. The song wasn't exactly freedom jam material but I decided to go with it. I Safety Danced in my car and I'm sure passersby were astounded at the authentic 80's upper body dance moves this young woman was busting out behind the wheel.
When I got back home my daughter looked at me as if I hadn't left at all, except for sucking on her fingers to tell me she wanted to nurse. While I was gone she only drank an ounce of milk. My boyfriend told me how she tried to play with the bottle as she would my breast. Later this evening she sat upright and held my breast while she nursed, squeezing with one hand how she likes. Nursing an "older" baby is so much fun. How sad that only 43% of babies in the U.S. are breastfed at 6 months.
Some friends stopped by to see the baby and me. One of my friends taught my daughter how to walk assisted. My mind is so totally blown.
As I used to like to do before I started slacking off, I took some time to do some cooking for the upcoming week. Last week I made a double batch of Arroz Doce, Portugese sweet rice, for breakfasts. I didn't use eggs last week because I couldn't bring myself to crack the eggs. Last weekend my boyfriend shared something from a classic Japanese book he is reading, "Black Rain," a true account of Japan after the atomic bombs were dropped. I know I am super sensitive but what he told me made me burst into tears. I was crying for hours and physically sick. I woke up crying in the night and cried in the morning. I dreaded nursing my baby and wept when I did. I was worried it might affect our nursing relationship, but I kept telling myself how fortunate I am that my daughter and I are among those living and not suffering. It was so absolutely horrifying that I haven't been able to eat meat in a week. I know my boyfriend wishes he hadn't upset me, especially now that he has to cook all veg for me.
If ever there was a book to end war, that would have been it. What is wrong with us?
This week I did use eggs. I figure technically I've laid eggs that have gone to waste. I would feel a lot better if the chickens were able to have chicks of their own one day, but at least nothing is dying to feed me.
"So who's having sex with the hen?" -Frank Costanza
Now I'm sitting down with a cold glass of raw milk and unwinding. My baby just woke up from a catnap and is squirming all over me. Like clockwork, I feel my milk coming down and hear my daughter sucking on her fingers. Good night all.
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